I was in tears of shame and awkwardness when my 5-year-old daughter exhibited her usual tantrums and started whining amidst our shopping spree last Sunday. It was more than enough for me. I felt the questioning and criticizing eyes of people all over me. Everybody was looking in our direction and there was very little I could do about the situation.
Well, it all usurped from the simple two lettered word – NO. The moment I expressed my non-approval by a slight shake of my head, the same time hell broke loose in the Departmental Store. My daughter couldn’t take my disapproval and in defense did what she thinks, is the first and last rescuer in every situation – CRYING.
Many times we come across situations, when our child retorts to whining and crying, to get things done as per their choice. The limits are crossed when this phenomenon continues every now and then.
One of the natural symptoms of emotionalism is crying. It actually requires a discerning parent to know why a child is crying, and apply the proper remedy. To ease the matters, let’s discuss some types of cries and the way to tackle them:
- The ‘tired ‘child: If your child exhibits an unusual increase in whining, examine the circumstances. Most of the times children find it hard to express fatigue. They tend to show reluctance or disapproval in following their daily routine and stick to crying. In such situations just lie beside your child and allow her to take a little nap. Don’t forget to monitor her sleep time and make sure the child is getting enough sleep to start her new day in a fresh and energized way.
- The ‘lonely’ child: A child starved for her mother’s attention may react by whining. Remember to keep your child with you and let her help you whenever possible to boost her confidence. Spending quality time with her, reading books to her and talking to her is the best way to deal with such situations.
- The ‘sick’ child: Could she be ill? Does she have the temperature? A child finds whining as the easiest mode to convey her illness or pain. Look for symptoms and without any delay; seek medical help as soon as you find some illness or irregular behavior.
- The ‘sensitive’ child: Although all kids are different, some tend to be more emotional than others. Sometimes parents encourage hypersensitivity by overreacting to small injuries or by extending too much sympathy even when the child suffered no major health problem or hazard. Remember children are too receptive and will surely imitate your reactions in different situations, and will pick up both good and bad traits.
- The ‘injured’ child: Toddlers cry at the drop of a hat and this continues till they grow up and understand when they are spoken to. It’s our job to teach them to control their urge to cry over everything. Some cries are legitimate and tolerable – when your dog dies or a broken arm. But it’s not permissible to cry when you don’t get what you want, or when your mother says “no”. Crying over such trifles as these has nothing to do with pain or suffering, but is rather a demand for attention and sympathy.
Be very honest in your assessment of your child to discern whether she is crying to manipulate or not.
Sometimes you have to prepare yourself to be a ‘mean’ mother.